Ormly's Story
I have had a
"sporadic Christian" disposition most all my life ... a Pentecostal [not
"oneness"] since the age of 9. I knew nothing of OSAS dogma for much of my
experience in the church nor did it interest me much since, in my mind, it
didn't apply to me. I had the assurance of my salvation and more. The problem
was my perspective was wrong inasmuch as the message preached, regardless of
topic always centered on what man [me] could get from God if he had enough
faith; a man centered theology to be sure. God was not only my "Shield and
Buckler" but also my "Shield and Butler".
Many times it was said in frustration by the song leader that the congregation
had to be "pumped up" before genuine worship could be realized. That was true
and it never dawned on me in young years that that was in anyway, not 'normal'
because of the pressures of life overcoming most all in attendance... I always
wondered about that.. why was that 'normal'?
A little booklet started my thinking that would eventually bring rectification
to my mind: "The practice of the Presence of God". Bro Lawrence' words to
the effect that Sunday' worship was just an extension of what he had been doing
all week long, struck me and I began to realize it was
reality of Christ in his life that made his worship an
actuality 24-7, that was missing in my mine. I did not know at
that time, how to make Christ an actuality in my life, because the reality of
Him in my life was sporadic at best and I really didn't want the kind of
commitment needed to make it so and yet I did, if you can grasp that hypocrisy.
As a result of the absence of doing the great commandment ....”If any man will
do his will, he shall know of the doctrine”, and the urgency of its necessity, I
did not possess a revelation of Jesus Christ, sufficient beyond the knowledge of
my salvation, to sustain His presence that desired to evidence itself from my
life.
I unwittingly belonged to the “white knuckle club”; hang on 'til you die and go
to heaven. Hanging on of course meant don't smoke, don't chew, don't run with
them that do. Well, I wound up being a chameleon. I had all the answers and
excuses for not being able to conduct my life unto the Father 24-7. I worked for
a living, had a wife and kids to support. I wanted what this world said I could
have and God would see to it if I tithed. That all was true. Never did I
believe, with Father's permission, Satan had his hand in it as well. I became a
prodigal.
Inside me, I also knew that what I was taught was not a sustaining message
because if it was I would have had a vision [Pro. 29:18], and not have resisted
God's grace. After all, I was saved. I was born again or so I was told...But was
I? I began to see, to question that if I was I would have been able, by the
revelation of Jesus Christ and the faith of Him within me, His very Life, to
make those distinctions that would have kept me in His footsteps unto the
Father.
I reached a point when I didn't care whether I lived or died. Had I died, I
thought, I would be saved because I confessed Christ and He would forgive me and
let me in. However this scripture came into view: “Therefore
we must give the more earnest heed to the things we have heard, lest we drift
away. For if the word spoken through angels proved steadfast, and every
transgression and disobedience received a just reward,
how shall we escape if we neglect so great a salvation, which at the
first began to be spoken by the Lord, and was confirmed to us by those who heard
Him, God also bearing witness both with signs and wonders, with various
miracles, and gifts of the Holy Spirit, according to His own will?”
Hebrews 2:1-4 (NKJV)
Notice the word “neglect”. It doe not imply “rejection”. The implication is that
you are saved and you are neglecting Him who saved you. Understanding this
brings other scriptures into view that speak of the unfaithful servant being
cast out. Now one may speculate as to what that means but what would be the
reason for such speculation aside from the desire to bolster one's unbelief
persuading them to discard such notions alluding to the possibility of it
meaning hell. After all, “once saved, always saved”.
Not unlike the story of the prodigal, my life exhibited much the same pattern of
rebelliousness and presumption until such a time when my “Nathan” came to me and
read me “my mail”. It was an ultimatum. Much then that I realized God was indeed
still in my life desiring to be Father.
20/20 hindsight made me see that once a man is born again and backslides he is
not fit for either heaven or the world. He is a most miserable human being. I
had to make a choice and I had no choice because I didn't want to be a castaway.
However, I needed to know there was a sustaining message that saves and keeps;
that will cause one to serve God from love and not just fear, duty or by the
practice of lessons put forth in “self-improvement” books..
Enter the writings of Oswald Chambers who brought to my senses needed
understanding for rectification that would reveal the ultimate intention of God
from the beginning, spoken of by Paul. On my bookshelf was a copy of a book by
that title by DeVern Fromke I had never finished reading years earlier. The
writings of these two authors brought into focus the needed understanding that
will reveal redemption as being only the doorway to the “sheepfold” of where
son's are brought into Glory unto the Father by the revelation of Jesus Christ
which will sustain the one who enters. “The violent take it by force”.. (Mt.
11:12) .........My life changed.......My life is changed.... My life will remain
forever changed.
I know the scripture says this: "Though he were
a Son, yet learned he obedience by the things which he suffered; And being made
perfect, he became the author of eternal salvation unto all them that obey him;"
Hebrews 5:8-9 (KJV) However, it can readily be seen
to mean this: The man, Jesus, learned
obedience by His "Passion" for His Father.
(You can also find his testimony and discussion at StudyLightForums.org)
