Beautiful
I am now the blessed mama of a darling baby girl. After having all my boys I feel I am now entering sacred territory. It is a privilege and a joy and at the same time it seems almost daunting. It becomes increasingly impressed upon my heart the way in which many girls are being raised in modern America. Even in the homes of the churched. I feel that many have been hoodwinked into a trend of forsaking true femininity for a smokescreen of “girl power”. I want so much more for my daughter. I want her to know that it’s ok to be a girl. That being what the Bible terms “a weaker vessel” doesn’t mean that you are a doormat; rather that you are deserving of the utmost care and respect. That being a help meet doesn’t make you a second-class citizen; it makes you invaluable. That being lovely is more attractive than flaunting one’s body. It is my hope and prayer that the Lord will lead my husband and I to be able to demonstrate these things to our daughter amidst a world that screams so loudly a false feminism.
Among the top of the list of my concerns on raising a daughter in this modern society is conveying a sense of what REAL beauty is. You can’t get far without some advertisement proclaiming that beauty is sexuality, false riches, or attention. How do we as parents instill a resolution in our sons and daughters alike that true beauty is not assessed by the world’s standards? Most often the world is incapable of recognizing true beauty. The loveliest of ladies can degrade herself with her ugly words or brazen immodesty. In the same manner the homeliest of girls can shine forth in beauty with an authentic smile and joyful spirit. Of course, as a mother, I’d like my little girl to be pretty and girly and all of that. I just want to make sure she understands that being beautiful is not something defined by secular society.
One of my new favorite quotes is from the television show “Christy”. (We had gotten the episodes on disc to watch during our family movie times.) In one of the episodes a homelier older woman who had never been married and who had apparently been outcast as a child for not being a typical “belle” was giving counsel to a young girl feeling outcast because of her uniquely homely appearance. The older woman encouraged the younger:
“We are led just like mules to believe a woman should look a certain way. A woman can be pretty like a mountain or a tree or a river, she doesn’t have to be a flower.”**
I am particularly fond of that quote because it speaks to the heart of a woman who has often tried to mold herself to the world’s image of beauty; finding that it brings discontentment and disappointment. I want my daughter to find freedom in being the kind of beautiful that God intended her to be.
I do not discount the reality that women are good-looking. I believe the Lord created women to be gloriously beautiful. I also think it is a valuable asset to know how to make oneself lovely on the outside, whatever that might mean to individual households. Scripture is full of references to women being outwardly adorned or made beautiful for their spouses. However, it also has a cautionary command about not allowing beauty to be merely skin deep.
4 But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. 5 For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands:
1 Peter 3:4, 5 KJV
9 In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with braided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array; 10 But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works.
1 Timothy 2:9, 10 KJV
We cannot help it as parents too “ooh” and “ahh” at our daughters over how they are such “pretty little girls.” I worry though if that sends an unintended message on the importance of outward appearance. Believe me, this being my first girl after four boys I am certainly getting my fill of darling little dresses and matching bows and all things pretty and pink. It is just being impressed upon me to be careful to balance it with the beauty of godly character and gentle femininity. There is so much beauty at stake.
~ Amanda M. Paul
September 15, 2008
Used by permission
*All scriptures are taken from the King James Version unless otherwise noted.
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